What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico? Inflammable means flammable? What a country. Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.

The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… I was saying "Boo-urns. " Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!

Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!

Thank you, steal again. Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

1. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
2. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
3. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

• Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
• Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
• Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.

Ahoy Hoys?

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.

Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?

I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children… We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.

I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children. I was saying "Boo-urns." I was saying "Boo-urns." Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Dad didn't leave...

When he comes back from the store, he's going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face! …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk. I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! Look out, Itchy! He's Irish! Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Duffman can't breathe! OH NO! Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

Inflammable means flammable? What a country. Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

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